Hello friends, I got flagged by google blogger by the use of SE*. So I decided to replace it with “intimacy”. Before I share my thoughts on the above subject, please do not crucify me, just keep an open mind, take the message first, and come for me later on. You all can bare me witness that intimacy is a subject many will not like to delve into. In the part of the world where I hail from, speaking about intimacy in public is considered a sacrilege. I may be wrong, but many African cultural practices forbid a small village boy like me to speak about intimacy in public. Well, gone are those days when talking about sex was a taboo, I deem it important and I'm entitled to it. So let’s jump into it.
Intimacy is Good & Fun but can also be a distraction. Why do I say that?
First, we all know that too much of a thing is bad, most especially when it becomes an ADDICTION, hence, leading to destruction. Sex is not left out of it. As a growing teen and young adult, I was determined to stay off certain practices like intimacy, alcohol intake and smoking, as much as I can so that if for any reason I had to fail I will not find any excuses connected or attributed to any of those activities. Worse of it all, in Africa, kinsmen will claim the witches or wizards may have manipulated a bright or failed youth into womanizing or being a drunk. All of that is bullcrap, the young lad obviously lost control of his morality, after tasting a well of honey.
In my opinion, Intimacy and all other emotional intimate related activities draws a lot of energy from an average youth. As a single youth in pursuit of a future career, making sexual activities one of your main focused routines is not a wise choice or option to take. Many careers have been cut short because of early pregnancy, single motherhood, early fatherhood and so on. Not forgetting the distraction one goes through being in an intimate affair. It can be draining when you are in a loop of relationship drama and you want to study or there’s an examination that will determine your next career move. Who can relate?
I have childhood friends who wasted their youthful lives womanizing, drinking and clubbing, today they are finding excuses for their failures. I vividly recall speaking to a particular childhood friend of mine who had better opportunities than myself until he lost his father and things started spiraling down. One day, as I drove into a hotel in Lagos after I started working, guess who I discovered opened the gate for me, the childhood friend I attended high school with. I got to find out that he had over 7 children as of the time I met him working as a gate-keeper. My heart was broken.
Intimacy is good when we do not become a slave it. Intimacy is good when we do not make it a priority over future driven goals. Many think of sex first when they lay their hands on few dollars or naira. Believe me, when you become successful and you are able to get married, intimacy will be living 24hrs inside the house with you. I am entitled to 24 hours intimacy now, at my beck and call, but all I do aside intimacy, is consistently thinking of how to team with my partner to grow our future on a daily basis. Nothing is as great as having peace of mind when having good intimacy without worries of the unforeseen or unexpected.
Why get distracted with se* when you have many skill set to pay for and acquire. Why focus on intimacy when scholarship pursuit is your number one priority, and graduate school is on your mind. Where do you have the time to think of those different intimacy partners when better future driven goals are in focus? I guarantee you it is a distraction, and failure is imminent, if not corrected and retraced.
In conclusion, delayed gratification is the best practice to better stay focused in attaining our goals. If you guys think I am not making sense, find those nerds who made first class in their college days. They had one thing in common, which is, being focused in their studies with little or no distraction with sexual or emotionally draining activities. I may be wrong but I hope I have communicated my message.