It is only when you have first lived for yourself, that you can learn to live for others; which is where altruism comes to play. Bear in mind, you cannot give out what you don't possess or have.
Desist, trying to please everyone or anyone at the expense of displeasing yourself. Most people oftentimes misconstrued the tenets of living for themselves, as being self-centred and selfish. No, it's not, it's far more profound and underlying than that. It is having the ability to love and appreciate oneself, before doing the same for others, without a grudging and lackadaisical attitude towards helping others.
Come to think of it, do you think most prominent philanthropists, who are touching (sorry to use the word) unfortunate lives all over the globe, did not first learn to live for themselves; by involving and indulging themselves in consistent hard work and resilience to daily accumulate wealth for themselves, first, before seeing the need to reaching out to less privileged lives, who do not have the luxury to feed or leave well.
Recently, I had a discussion with Wilfred Asuquo that made me understand "giving" in its originality. To my own understanding, he made me understand that when one feels like he or she is missing out on something huge or feels cheated whenever he lets out either cash or kind, then it simply means an irreplaceable and irreconcilable loss has been incurred, on a personal level. But when you render any assistant and you feel very much like nothing ever happened, then you have learnt the tenacity to leave for yourself.
Listen, you only feel cheated when you give, because you are not satisfied with giving, to yourself. To be candid, is best we face facts, rather than continue to leave in the ignorant notion of "it's because of God ooh, that I choose to help," rather than "I choose to help because I feel comfortable helping," so as to embrace the goodness and comfortability of apparently being self-satisfied and selfless. Thank you